A man describing his dilemma in a social media post is taking heat from others for his attitude and his choice of words, even as others shared support for his point of view.
The man, 27, said his girlfriend, 24, is Brazilian and that ever since they’ve been together, “she’s been introducing me to her country’s cuisine, and I’ve loved everything she’s made [that] I’ve tried so far.”
Recently, though, he said, “she took me to [a] Brazilian steakhouse and at some point she asked the waiter for a dish that they didn’t serve … but apparently is a staple in Brazilian barbecue.”
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It was only later, the man added, that she “explained to me that she was asking for chicken hearts.”
Since the restaurant didn’t serve the dish, she “told me she would try to find it in the Brazilian store she usually goes to and make it at home,” the man wrote — “but I told her not to bother and that I wasn’t interested in trying it.”
The man shared with others, “She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t interested, so I told her that the whole idea of eating chicken hearts sounded a bit icky (that’s the word I remember saying — she later said I told her it was ‘disgusting,’ so I can’t be sure, but the intention is the same anyway).”
He went on, “And she got really upset and told me about how eating organs is not unusual in many cultures and that even if I didn’t want to try it, framing it as ‘disgusting’ was disrespectful on my part.”
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He added, “But I only said anything because she kept pushing for an explanation. So I don’t know what she expected me to do – to lie?”
He asked others for their opinions — and on Reddit, plenty of people weighed in, with most saying there’s nothing wrong with expressing personal opinions about food, but it’s the way the man went about it that left a lot to be desired.
Nearly 5,000 people reacted and over 1,700 shared their comments.
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In the top reaction, which itself received 11,000 reactions, one person wrote, “Phrasing, my man, phrasing. You could have said something more neutral like, ‘It’s not something I want to try, while I can see other people might enjoy it, it really doesn’t sound appealing to me.’
“Or the like,” the same person went on.
“Labeling it as icky probs didn’t land well, as you can now tell.”
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Said another person, “Whether you said ‘icky’ or ‘disgusting’, the message is the same. You’re under no obligation to try something you strongly feel you won’t like, of course, but there are many ways to go about this – especially when there are cultural roots involved.”
The same person continued, “Sometimes it’s just about giving a broader explanation (i.e. ‘raw meat of any kind is not my thing’ – or, in your case, ‘trying organs is too far from my comfort zone’).
“Even [at] family dinners, if I didn’t like something my mother made, I could always go for a PB&J without expressing my subjective disgust about the dish my siblings were enjoying. That’s just basic manners.”
Wrote another person, “She pressed for an answer that she was not ready to accept.”
